Romance Paraguayan Style

Love and especially lust is always in the air here in Paraguay. However the way they go about expressing their love and infatuation with one another is quite different than that of Americans. We have spent a few hours here and there over the last weeks hearing about different experiences both men and women have had with Paraguayans and some of the dating "rules" Paraguayans follow. Most of the Paraguayans that do follow these rules strictly live further out into country, but there seems to be a universal understanding of most of the rules. Be prepared to laugh a little.

First off, there are specific dating days in Paraguay. The official dating days are Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. If a man visits you on these days it means that he is interested in dating you official and wants to make it known in the community. However, if a man comes over only on Monday, Wednesday and Friday that means that he wants you to be his mistress. And he wants you to be friends with benefits, it is called "amigos especiales" here in Paraguay.

Gestures are used here all the time to signify if people think you are good looking or if they want to sleep with you. They range from making the motion of revving a motorcycle to wiggling a finger when giving a handshake.
If you attend a fiesta or a quincinera and dance with guy for over three dances in a row then it is said that you two are now officially dating each other.
Women should avoid walking near the chakra or crop fields, because this is one of the main places that men and women have sex since at least five people live in every house and are always home. So if someone sees you walking out of the field they are sure to send the gossip out that you were there with a guy. I think that it sounds pretty uncomfortable to come home with bug bites all over your body.
It is unbelievably hot here at night time, but women can not sleep with their windows open unless they want a visitor called a Jakare. An open window is an open invitation for a man or Jakare to jump into your house and have sex with you that night. No questions asked on either end.

One nice thing that we learned is that women set the limits here in terms of dating and sex. Men here think that being overly aggressive is the only way to get a girlfriend or baby momma, but the women are the ones who have the control to say how far the relationship is going to go. However, gestures or body language outweighs anything said verbally. So I need to keep the smiling and eye contact undercontrol since both of these are very popular signs of interest expersing interest here.

Also the obsession with foreigners is outrageous here! Just because my hair and skin are a little lighter and I have blue eyes, all the men and women here think I am very good looking. This is a really strange comment to make about myself, but Paraguayans think I am very beautiful. It has been a strange adjustment to go from being an average looking girl in the US to being a very attractive foreigner here. Most older women want to adopt me, most girls my age want to have my hair or eye color, and most men from 13 to 70 make inappropriate gestures and comments attempting to be my boyfriend.

So far my blue eyes have started a fight between two grown men at the volleyball court, many pick up attempts at the local despensa, an invitation to be amigos especiales from a neighbor, and comments about how beautiful my eyes are from the city director of the environment at the municipality during an official meeting. And over the past few weeks I have been asked countless times if I have a boyfriend, why I don´t have a boyfriend and when am I going to marry a Paraguayan. But don´t worry mom, I keep telling them that there is no way I am going to marry a Paraguayn because you would cry too much.

So for all of you out there who are feeling a little lonely, just come down and visit me here. They will all love you here and I am pretty sure I can get you paired up in less than a week. A language barrier means nothing here!